A . . . Very . . . Merry . . . Christmas

Thank you for inviting me into your house for Christmas. I won't be staying long, I promise. And you'll be coming with me . . . 

Why yes, I'm your PRESENT and your FUTURE.

There are Other Clowns Than These . . .

This is fine . . . 

Look into the light. Follow me into the light . . . 

This is the clown face on the mask. What does the clown look like under the mask?

This is fine. Everything is fine. 

Here's to a Clown-Filled 2018

I confess, I let the clown blog slide. I cheated on you all with another platform, but I kept this site open, because, well, clowns are the gift that keeps on giving.

2018 will, indeed, be the year of the clown. You can thank me later.

The rules are simple.

Anyone can create a Pennywise costume, or otherwise creepiness on purpose. That's not what this is about. It's about the paintings, dolls, and figurines that people were serious about. The ones grandma had on her mantle. The dolls Auntie Elsa gave you on Christmas and seemed to move around your room at night. The cross-eyed Murano clowns that mom told you were yours in the will.

And, of course, the paintings:

It's the eyelashes that sell it. 

Board Games in Hell

Where you spin eternally, building never-ending clown faces . . .

Yes, FIVE big clown faces

Build a clown . . . 

Just harmless good fun . . . 

Right ???

RIGHT?

Clowns. Don't do it. Not even once.

Good Night . . .

And sweet dreams . . . don't let the clowns bite . . .

Sometimes Cake . . .

Is part of the problem, not part of the solution . . . From the one and only Cake Wrecks.

Let's Not . . .

Tell my probation officer about this, okay? If I give you a $20 will you get me a bottle? I'm banned. Is that your daughter . . .

You lookin' at me?