Let Me Hear Your Opinion and Vote . . .

What's in the container? Martinis, I vote for martinis . . .



A generation of children raised by this drunken creep clown. Yet one more way our parents scarred us for life!

Got A Girlfriend You Need To Mess With?

Print this out life-size and tape it the outside of her bedroom window . . .



Unless, of course, she owns firearms. That could be dangerous. Very dangerous.

Existential Crisis Clown . . .

Needs a hug . . .



"An existential crisis is a stage of development at which an individual questions the very foundations of his or her life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value."

Message to the painter: "The answer to the above question is NO."

Someone Asked Me . . .

If there were any clown paintings that I like.

The answer is "yes."

This isn't it . . .

The "Ewww" Series Continues . . .

With this creepy entry from (of all people) Norman-freaking-Rockwell!



A creepy clown awkwardly comforts an uncomfortable-looking young runaway.

"Here, here, clown white washes right off. Now, we don't need to tell anyone you were here . . . especially my parole officer."

A Time To Be Thankful . . .

That this freak didn't show up for Thanksgiving dinner,



Unless he is a member of the family, then you have more problems than a blog can solve . . .

San Francisco Has Banned . . .

Putting toys in children's meals that do not meet nutritional guidelines.



Some see this as an assault on the inalienable right to feed your children cwap for lunch. I see it as a step in stopping the infiltration of clowns into society.

This kid understands . . .when she grows up she will vote to ban clowns from fast food restaurants!

Be ever vigilant, clowns are sneaky!

Another Halloween Treasure

Just sort of sums up everything that is wrong with clowns - that magic place where happy and psychotic meet up.

There Are No Words . . .

To describe what is easily the world's strangest sweater! You know it's bad when the clown is the most normal part.

Nobody At The Ad Agency . . .

Could figure out why this new ad campaign wasn't working . . .

"All the kids in the focus group were screaming. That's good isn't it?"



The good old days when having "sugar" in the title was a good thing. Two bowls of this and you felt and acted like this goggle-eyed goon!

I'm Sorry . . .

But, I have to say it . . .

(you can leave now, no harm, no foul . . . )

Okay, you were warned . . .

She's obviously KooKoo for Coco's Stuff!



Yes, those wonderful childhood memories of clowns out behind the Big Top!

Newsflash!

Clown Eats Man <------ Old News



However,

Man Eats Clown . . .

It's Almost Halloween!!

Time for the kids to dress up in scary, creepy costumes!

Time to send in the clowns!

If you open your door to this frantic, over-caffeinated little freak, you have only yourself to blame . . .



Too bubbly for you? Try something a bit more from the Michael Meyer School of Clownination.



Just hand over the candy and I won't be back later with an axe . . . or maybe I will . . . I haven't decided yet . . .

Bozo Gets Bad News . . .

From his bookie . . .



Alright kiddies, who wants to play a game? Go get mommy's checkbook . . .

Just Another . . .

Creepy, awkward photo of clowns posing with tense scared children.

An afternoon at the television show,



A lifetime in therapy . . .

Compare the two photos. Coincidence? I think not!

Bozo and His Minions

Gathered to discuss world clownination . . .



Contact your congressman to pass laws to prohibit clown clots from forming.

Khildren of the Klownz . . .

A young accolyte in the Bozo division of the International Clown Cabal. That grin is unsettling.



I think the parents should be reported to Child Protective Services. That is, if they are not stuffed in a closet somewhere.

I Think I'm Being Clowned . . .

It's sort of like being swarmed, but with clowns . . . made of cake . . .

All I did was make some utterly innocent comments on Facebook about how I was going to intercept some luscious baked goods being sent by one friend and blogmate to another. The reason was ostentibly that the second blogmate has "won" a contest being held by the first. Well, that is simply impossible. Those cookies are MINE, MINE, MINE!!!

I was sulking and plotting when this appeared outside my door.



Okay, creepy, but no reason to panic. I am used to seeing clowns in unexpected places. I picked off the weird candy eyes, wiped that smug frosting smile off his face and then I ate him.

But, then I went into my office and there they were:



The Cheerio hair, the wormy smiles . . . ::shudder::

It took an entire pot of tea to get this batch down. Luckily, the baker knew how to keep the cake light and fluffy. That immediately made me suspicious. However, the truly talented baker I have in mind would never use sour gummy worms on buttercream frosting. So, my suspicions went elsewhere.

Then the threat came through loud and clear!



A plate of dead clown cupcakes sitting on top of my washer. With fruit roll-ups masquerading as bacon for the vapid smiles. Luckily, I was able to fake out my dogs and they believed the bacon story.

As I type, I am showing those cupcakes who is boss. But, funny, I'm not hungry for cookies any more . . .

The End of Days . . .

Is upon us. 700 grinning freaks assembled at the clown convention in Mexico City to try and break the record for laughing . . .



Check out the hellish freak waving around the broken baby doll at the :20 mark. 700 cretinous creeps in one place, forcing awkward laughter. I'm surprised they didn't accidentally cause a tear between dimensions!

Budget Cuts . . .

Have led to a serious downgrade of the Federal Secret Witness Program . . .



Seriously, you would have to be a Bozo to think this was a good idea. I can't decide who is creepier, the adults or the little Bozo-spawn.

There is a Special Circle of Hell . . .

Devoted to Bozo the Clown. This week, we'll be paying tribute to one of the ringleaders of the International Clown Cabal.



Bozo is bad enough, but a disembodied leering Bozo head floating over a pair of gloved hands? The stuff of nightmares.

Some Things Are Best . . .

Left to professionals . . .



If you hear from one, please let me know!

I think this is actually a subtle blackmail scheme. Pay them $5.88 or you could end up like the clown . . .

Friends Shouldn't Let Friends . . .

Bake decapitated dead clown cakes . . . .



You see? I told you yesterday that you should have opted for the kit!! However, this baker does win the Academy Award for making the best of a bad situation with sprinkles.

::Looks closer at cake::

Please tell me those are sprinkles . . .

In Honor Of My Husband's Birthday . . .

I thought I'd share a few decapitated dead clown cakes. This is a particular favorite because it gives you instructions!! No more thrashing around making ugly cakes on your own (you'll see tomorrow why that's a bad idea).



So, Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!

Yes, I do love my husband . . . why do you ask?

Oops! To The Cornfield With You!

It's your own fault! I like to see happy faces!



Is everybody happy? I don't like angry faces? No siree . . . don't make me angry . . .

Not Sure Which Bothers Me More . . .

This clown doll or the person who thought making it was a good idea . . .



Another in the series of clown faces you don't want in your closet. Not even Pennywise wants this freak hanging around.

Hush Now . . .

Or I'll have to get the duct tape . . .



Are you comfy? Are the ropes too tight?

Just A Living Doll . . .

Okay, so it only comes alive after all the lights are out . . . when you leave the closet door open just a crack . . .



C'mon, who wouldn't love this face . . . hovering over you when you wake up in the middle of the night . . .

Gangsta Klown . . .

Gonna @#$% you up . . .



Whatchyou laughing at mutha#$%^#$? I got your [fill in noun] here . . .

Children Of The Clowns

Glen and Mary looked around and realized there were no adults in this circus . . .



Somewhere in the darkness a gurgle was followed by a high childish giggle . . .

Ewww . . . Just Ewww . . .

As I was working on captions for this photo, one thought wouldn't leave my mind,



Just what is he looking down at . . .

If you find out, don't let me know ::shudder::

The Eyes Seem To Follow You . . .

Everywhere . . . you go . . .



This is the sort of face you see in the rear view mirror in a dark parking lot when you forgot to check the back seat before you got in the car.

Klownz In The Hood . . .

They be representing . . .



The police were baffled by the series of bodies found with a frozen look of horror and white greasepaint on their throats.

The Morning After . . .

Evidently Bozo and Clara Belle didn't "just say no . . ."



My guess Clara Belle is calling his bail bondsman or his bookie. I doubt he is calling his sponsor.

Did You Ever Wonder Why . . .

So many of us are so screwed up?



It's because Dad said, "Go pet the duck in the clown's lap! Take your sister! Both of you now! I'll get a picture. Get closer dang it, you're in the shadow!"

Uh-huh . . . .

Well, here is that kid all grown up!

I'm Baaaaccckkk . . . .

Sorry for the long absence!

It started innocently enough. A guest asked a question about aliens and Roswell (yes, there is fascinating dinner conversation at my house). Suddenly, the screen flashed and a rogue program was off and running taking a good chunk of my hard drive with it.

I blame the ICC (International Clown Cabal) . . .



Me and my anti-viral programs fought valiantly, capturing and removing 25 different Trojan Horse viruses. However, the damage was done. I couldn't even get on the Interwebz for almost a week (the horror!). Finally, a complete crash and reinstall was necessary. However, thanks to my handy external hard drive, I hacked in and saved all my docs and pics.

So, I will be able to continue exposing the ICC conspiracy and bringing the best from the CCC (Creepy Clown Continum)!

This Is From An Amusement Park

Am I the only one that has strange visions of Shirley Jackson and "The Lottery" when I see this pic?



When I was in high school we were assigned The Lottery and another dystopian short story about people who "win" tickets to an amusement park where every ride could be your last. I can't remember the title, but this photo is of that freakshow, I'd bank on it.

Supposedly . . .

This is a sad and crying clown . . .



Sad is one word . . . (creepy and cretinous are two others) and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So, I guess the artist knew of what she spoke . . .

This Is The Last Face You'll Ever See . . .

If you voluntarily get into a gray panel van with tinted windows and two rolls of duct tape on the dashboard.



Take that as a warning!

W.T.F.

This painting is one of those awesomely bad WTF moments when you wonder what possessed, not only the artist, but the person who sat for the artist, and the person who paid the artist. #landfillmusthavebeenclosed



Nice to know that bad clown art apparently knows no racial bounds.

Mom Alert! This Is What Happens When . . .

You let your kid spend too much "alone time" with clowns when he was little.



Clowns, don't let this happen to someone you love!

From the awesomeness that is the Vice Magazine Dos and Don't section.

Neeto Keeno . . .

Or maybe not . . .



I'm sorry, but to me, his expression says, "I wonder if that girl in the first row is wearing underwear . . ."

I Heart This Cartoon . . .

It explains so much . . .



Borrowed from "Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal," a totally whack comic that I follow (and I apologize, I forgot to write down the run date of the original comic, blame the clowns!). Check it out!

Rib Tickling Adventures . . .

Tobo is a happy clown. A very happy clown. Don't you want to have your ribs tickled by Tobo? C'mon, you know you do . . .



You wouldn't want to make Tobo unhappy, would you . . .

Clowns As Role Models . . .

Dress badly, smily scarily, and torment small animals . . .



I hope the next figure in the series is "Dog Castrating Clown."

Old School . . .

None of the abstract allegorical clownery of the last entry. Just a straight up clown with a sledge hammer. Low tech, old school, you might even have a chance to escape.



Look at those eyes and that smile . . . escape? Not a freaking chance!

Cwap . . .

I'm speechless. All the jokes I am thinking really just pale in the blistering glow of awfulness this painting radiates.



If you think of any good jokes, please leave them in the comments!