Friday, July 30, 2010

Ize Sorry . . .

I didna meanz to breaked yu! Here, ductz tape makes yu all betteh.

Yes, now playing: InterwebzKlownz - The Serial Killer collection!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Gruesome Twosome . . .

I made this collage because I came across both of these images on the same day. As if one veg-o-matic clown wasn't enough, another artist decided to rip off the imagery. My only response? W.T.F.

Clown art, for those days when you don't have enough surreal Kafkaesque irony in your life.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

This Is So Far Beyond Wrong . . .

That it will take the light from wrong 10,000 years to reach it.

I don't even know where to start. So, I'm just going to hum a little tune and let you gack in peace. Does anyone need a tissue? Any thoughts on what the artist was trying to communicate here?

Monday, July 26, 2010

I Have An Idea . . .

For a short story. A mysterious puzzle is regifted from one person to the next. Something bad always happens to the giftee. Finally, after all the family and friends are exhausted, the puzzle starts showing up at garage sales and auction boxes. Disaster follows.

Turns out, when you put the last piece of the puzzle in place, you release a creepy evil spirit that brings bad tidings into your life. The only way to stop it is to break up the puzzle, box it up, and get rid of it.

I think it will work. I wonder where I got the idea. It just came to me . . .





Oh my . . .

Clown puzzles. You intentionally lose the pieces.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Nothing Like A Postcard

I can imagine the message on the back . . .

"Wish I Wasn't Here!"

But, at least now we know that The Joker had a father.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Know What This Room Needs!

Curtains! Yes, that's it! Curtains!

A six-foot long garish full-color printed clown fabric panel. I have nothing to add ( ;

Friday, July 23, 2010

I Said I Wanted A Party!

Do not make me wish you into the cornfield . . .

You know what happens when I get angry . . .

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Now Kids . . .

"Don't believe anything you've read about me on those posters around the neighborhood,"

"but, if you see my parole officer, don't mention that we talked, okay?"

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Now Hold Still . . .

The family said they wouldn't pay the ransom until I sent them a photo of you,

to prove you were still alive. Now, smile around the duct tape!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Franken Clown

Coming to a cookie jar near you!

A perfect place to keep your "abby normal" brains.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Clowns and Zombies . . .

Separated at birth?

Is it the blank eyes, the white skin, or the black lips? I think the artist really caught the "essence" of the subject!

Friday, July 16, 2010

I See . . .

. . . midget clowns. In zombie facepaint. Oh my . . . no more anchovie pineapple pizza for me.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Welcome to GACK!

Welcome to "GACK", "Gallery of Atrocious Clown Kookiness." Yes, here at GACK, we are dedicated to preserving the images of clown art in all mediums. We will leave no stone unturned in discovering the best of the worst in clownfoolery.

Remember our name, when you see some piece of gawd-awful clownery, just say "GACK" and we'll be there!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

LOLKlownz - I Kan Haz Kreepeezs

I dedicate this post to the law school professor that made me read Kafka. I still haven't forgiven you!

Monday, July 12, 2010

The Clown Jewels . . .

What to say, what to say . . .

Imagine that lovely summer white linen suit, perhaps a nice designer label. Yes, it needs something. A scarf? Pearls? A pair of Jimmy Choo's? NO! It needs a multi-color enameled serial killer clown pin!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

100th Post! Top 5 Clowns! Contest!

Thank you to everyone for your support of this blog. This is the 100th post and I have chosen what I think are the Top Five on the Creepy Clown Continum.

First posted March 26, 2010. Gives a whole new meaning to "bad hair day."

First posted April 30, 2010. Since a picture is worth 10,000 words, I don't need to say anything else.

First posted May 2, 2010. I've gotten a couple of questions about why I had a problem with this clown. One even asked where she could find one for her kid's room. Sigh . . . I guess some folks need to see these cretinous lightswitch plates in use to really get the creep factor. This is an example of one of the worst (note, if easily offended, take my word for it) to see why this gives me the clown-creeps.

First posted June 23, 2010. Gets oogier every time I see it. Imagine a pair of these bracketing your bed. Now, imagine trying to sleep in that bed.

And now, for the absolute winner! The creepy clown painting that I doubt will ever be bested!

First posted June 7, 2010 The best (or worst) part? Someone had this in their house.

Now, the contest!

Want to win some one-of-a-kind swag (one mug and one t-shirt) celebrating the one and only "Why I Fear Clowns" blog? Of course you do! To be entered to win,

1. Leave a comment (one entry)(Please include your blog name!)
2. Follow the blog (one entry, existing followers already entered)
3. Follow me on Twitter (@cxrterri) (one entry)
4. Tweet about the blog and contest (one entry) [URL]

Thanks to everyone and heres to the next 100 posts. Contest runs until July 31, 2010. Two winners! I'll contact you via your profile for your shipping address.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Am I Pretty Now?

The perfect gift for that special someone,

What lady wouldn't love to have precious metals shaped like dead clowns dangling from her earlobes?

These were for sale on the secondary market, remarkably clean, like they had never (ever) been worn by their previous owner. However, that means that someone, somewhere, thought that buying these at retail was a good idea. Gifting FAIL!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Summertime . . . And The Clowning

is creepy . . . (c'mon, sing along!)

My sincere thanks to a reader who said he thought of the blog when he saw this album cover. I'm touched . . .

Okay, somebody thought this was a good idea and a good way to sell records. Evidently, in the cover designer's fantasies, attractive young women like to follow men with painted faces into the woods to hear music. Skinny men with deep soulful eyes, sensitive hands, and wide smeared dripping red mouths.

Wait, I was thinking of Twilight! Sorry, I got sidetracked.

Back to the record cover and the designer's and/or singer's fantasies. What do you bet he had two rolls of duct tape in the glove compartment of his gray panel van with the tinted windows?

Clowns, trust them at your own peril.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Decapitated Clown Cookie Jar

Kewl . . .

Clown cookie jars are a favorite of mine. What bright sunny kitchen couldn't benefit from having a dead clown head on the counter. A dead clown head full of cookies, no less!

Countdown to the 100th post and a top ten round-up of "Why I Fear Clowns." Thanks to everyone who has come along for the ride. It has been a blast.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Have You Voted For Me Yet?

I've got clowns and I'm not afraid to use them!

This is day two of my shameless begging for your vote in the contest to pick two new writers for the humor blog "An Army of Ermas."

The two highest vote-getters will be inducted into the sisterhood, learn the secret booty shake, and get access to the jello recipe vault. My life would be complete.

My name is Terri Coop and my entry is #11, "The Kid Whisperer."

The voting began yesterday on the An Army of Ermas website and continues on through today. Follow this blog! You will not be sorry.

You can read then entries at "An Army of Ermas." Remember, it is #11 by Terri Coop that you love and can't wait to vote for.

And don't worry. You can vote with the knowledge that if I become an Erma, I won't get so stuck-up that I'll forget where I came from. I have more creepy clowns than you can shake a stick at (or hit with a stick). Terri

Monday, July 5, 2010

Pleeze Vote For Me . . . Pleeze, Pleeze, Pleeze . . .

Even the clowns will be sad if I lose!

Seriously, this is a shameless appeal for your vote in the contest to pick two new writers for the humor blog "An Army of Ermas."

The two highest vote-getters will be inducted into the sisterhood, learn the secret booty shake, and get access to the jello recipe vault. My life would be complete.

My name is Terri Coop and my entry is # 11, "The Kid Whisperer."

I haz a funneh, I swearz! And if I am chosen to be one of the new Ermas, I promise to fulfill my office faithfully and to the best of my ability with stories from my life and travels, especially my adventures at the laundromat (such as the guy who brought all of his dirty clothes folded up in designer shopping bags).

The voting begins at "An Army of Ermas" on July 6th and goes on for a nail-biting two days. This blog is worth following. However, I warn you. After reading "Yoga Bare," I was permanently disqualified from organ donation because I laughed up a kidney. It wasn't pretty.

You can read then entries at "An Army of Ermas." Remember, it is #11 by Terri Coop that you love and can't wait to vote for.

Remember, a vote for me is a vote for funnehz! Thanks to everyone: Terri

When Grandpa Tells You . . .

That his college years were a time of serious study and reflection . . .

Try not to laugh too hard!

Clowns, alcohol, and cameras. A bad idea in any generation.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I Will Hug You . . .

. . . and squeeze you, pet you and love you, and I will call you George and we will be together forever and ever and ever. I will follow you everywhere . . . you will never ever be free of me. Won't that be fun?

Yes, clown art, as if the world wasn't a creepy enough place as it is.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Yum! Yum!

Ever heard of "Hop On Pop"? Well, this is an illustration from the new zombie book for kids called "Nom on Mom."

To me, what separates this from a legion of other really bad clown paintings is the illusion (or is it) of thick blood dripping off the pendulous lower lip. Now that's art . . .

Friday, July 2, 2010

Mommy, I Think That Circus Clown . . .

. . . is off his meds . . .

I really don't think I want anything to do with anything this poster is advertising!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Way Too Many Bad Jokes . . .

Are bubbling up . . . Even agrees, part of the image tag is :0

I collect salt and pepper shakers (yup, I'm a nerd) but this set shows me that one thing I have always believed is not true. You can have too many S&P sets!