Monday, March 29, 2010

Can't Sleep . . .

. . . Clown will eat me . . .

Remember, you may have to sleep, but they never do!

Want to mess with someone? Sneak this onto their computer as the screensaver. They leave the room and come back and BoBo is waiting for them, watching . . .

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Clowns - The New National Security Threat

This resin figurine no doubt added to our nation's trade deficit when it arrived here by boat from the clown factory in some undeveloped nation. Look at that face. Someone told the factory they wanted to pay to have it made. No wonder no one understands us!

Be a patriot! Lessen our dependence on foreign clowns! Just say "NO" to clown figurines. And with selections like this one, that should be a breeze! Do not let the clown cabal win!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

4 Out of 5 Dentists Agree . . .

That this is a definite decorating "DON'T"

Yes, you are seeing what you think you see. This is a life-size wall-mounted human clown head rendered in living 3-D color in plaster - right down to his cherry red, gingivitis ridden, flesh-toned gums. Maybe mom had him in the house as a reminder to always floss!

Even the turquoise eye-shadow doesn't soften up the effect of this over-the-top piece of vintage clown-foolery.

This is one of those "TMI" moments in art when a little (lot) more should have been left to our imaginations.

Nighty-Nite clown-o-phobes everywhere. Sleep tight and don't let the Bozos bite!

Friday, March 26, 2010

I. Am. Speechless.

And that doesn't happen very often.

The old proverb states that a picture is worth a thousand words.

The word of the day is "cringe-worthy." I'll let the photo below convey the other 9,999 . . . (yes, it is an oil painting!)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Hunting We Will Go . . .


It's only funny until you are the one on the menu.

Who thought a tall, scrawny, ragged, sledge-hammer wielding, grinning, psycho clown chasing something (or someone) somewhere would be a nice subject for a decorative resin figurine? The International Clown Cabal (or ICC, pronounced "ick"), that's who!

Tonight when you hear a thump, a thud, maniacal laughter, and other sounds I don't want to think about, just remember, you were warned . . .

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Everybody Likes Flowers . . . Do You Like Flowers?

C'mon boys and girls, come and see the flower, follow me, into this playground rest room, it's okay . . . I promise . . .

This particular figurine creeps me out to no end. It makes me want to slap the first sculptor and mold-maker I see (I mean it. Besides the obvious, what's with the lobster claw hand *blech*). I also want to slap the painter, but that's for color choice as much as anything else.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Ways My Adult-Authority Figures Scarred Me For Life

Your favorite aunt is coming to visit. She always brings cool stuff, sneaks you candy and takes your side against mom. This is shaping up to be a great weekend!

Until . . .

"Come here Sweetheart, Auntie's got a present for her little buttercup."

::Cue the theme music from "Night Gallery"::

Cut to later that night when the moonlight filters through your bedroom curtains highlighting the "present" sitting on your chair . . . reflecting in those flat black eyes . . . all you can hear is a low voice,

My, what big feet I've got,
The better to chase you with buttercup,

My, what big hands I've got,
The better to grab you with buttercup,

My, my, my what a big smile I've got,
Because I'm happy, happy, happy, to be your very best friend in the whole wide world. You'll never leave me, not ever and ever and ever . . .

Aren't you happy too???

Hey, do you really think Stephen King's costume/prop designer thought up the idea for Pennywise's hands all by himself?

And your parents wonder why you can't hold a job and need therapy.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Murano Monday

Murano, Italy makes this blog just too easy to write. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem at all with Murano Glass in theory. Italian hand-blown glass can be a beautiful and elegant thing. However, put a red nose and floppy shoes on it and it morphs into evil:

Yeah, I want that staring at me from my mantlepiece!

Murano Glass clowns (or as I refer to them, "goggle-eyed freaks") can sell for hundreds of dollars. My theory is that the International Clown Cabal is behind the sales and the proceeds go to support their plan for world domination. Look at that face and tell me that he is just a happy clown minding his own business. I think not!

Do not let them into your house! Today your curio cabinet, tomorrow your liquor cabinet!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Sunday Addendum . . .

I was tinkering around with the sidebar content and adding my favs under the listing "Blogs That Are Not Keyboard Safe" when I checked in on "Kitsch O' The Day" by the Tsarina of Tacky herself, Allee Willis.

Her post for today is simply prophetic . . . okay, it's funny. (Yeesh, calm down)Check it out!

You Can Bank On Being Creeped Out!

Newsflash, not all clown creepiness is vintage. This fine plaster/chalk specimen was recently seen slipping over our Southern Border concealed in a wheel of cheese until he reached his destination at a cut-rate flea market. A life-sized figural (or dis-figural, depending on your viewpoint) bank, sure to make the (un)lucky child beg mom and dad to leave the lights on at night.

Want to get rid of that deadbeat roommate? Put this in the living room during the day and then sneak it into his doorway (or onto his nightstand) in the middle of the night. Come morning, he'll be "gone in sixty seconds."

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Clown That Started It All . . .

Greetings and welcome to the site that takes a look at all those creepy, spooky, and just generally obnoxious clowns out there. Clown dolls, clown art, clown figurines, you name it, we will probably make fun of it.

Let's face it, clowns are evil:

Bart Simpson knows it!

Stephen King knows it!

The Insane Clown Posse knows it!

And now we know it!

This is the hellspawn that started my collection of creepy clown images. This vintage print was actually intended to be used as decoration . . . in your house! And you wonder why your children left home as soon as possible and never want to visit?

A face that launched a thousand bad dreams (even Blogger didn't like it, part of the image tag is "AAAAAAAAAAk"). But, as I searched on, I found they only got worse. So, time for bed now, we'll see you tomorrow! But remember, the mantra, "can't sleep, clowns will eat me . . . can't sleep clowns will eat me . . ." Nighty-nite!