Ways My Adult-Authority Figures Scarred Me For Life

Your favorite aunt is coming to visit. She always brings cool stuff, sneaks you candy and takes your side against mom. This is shaping up to be a great weekend!

Until . . .

"Come here Sweetheart, Auntie's got a present for her little buttercup."

::Cue the theme music from "Night Gallery"::

Cut to later that night when the moonlight filters through your bedroom curtains highlighting the "present" sitting on your chair . . . reflecting in those flat black eyes . . . all you can hear is a low voice,

My, what big feet I've got,
The better to chase you with buttercup,

My, what big hands I've got,
The better to grab you with buttercup,

My, my, my what a big smile I've got,
Because I'm happy, happy, happy, to be your very best friend in the whole wide world. You'll never leave me, not ever and ever and ever . . .

Aren't you happy too???

Hey, do you really think Stephen King's costume/prop designer thought up the idea for Pennywise's hands all by himself?

And your parents wonder why you can't hold a job and need therapy.