It's Almost Halloween!!

Time for the kids to dress up in scary, creepy costumes!

Time to send in the clowns!

If you open your door to this frantic, over-caffeinated little freak, you have only yourself to blame . . .



Too bubbly for you? Try something a bit more from the Michael Meyer School of Clownination.



Just hand over the candy and I won't be back later with an axe . . . or maybe I will . . . I haven't decided yet . . .

Bozo Gets Bad News . . .

From his bookie . . .



Alright kiddies, who wants to play a game? Go get mommy's checkbook . . .

Just Another . . .

Creepy, awkward photo of clowns posing with tense scared children.

An afternoon at the television show,



A lifetime in therapy . . .

Compare the two photos. Coincidence? I think not!

Bozo and His Minions

Gathered to discuss world clownination . . .



Contact your congressman to pass laws to prohibit clown clots from forming.

Khildren of the Klownz . . .

A young accolyte in the Bozo division of the International Clown Cabal. That grin is unsettling.



I think the parents should be reported to Child Protective Services. That is, if they are not stuffed in a closet somewhere.

I Think I'm Being Clowned . . .

It's sort of like being swarmed, but with clowns . . . made of cake . . .

All I did was make some utterly innocent comments on Facebook about how I was going to intercept some luscious baked goods being sent by one friend and blogmate to another. The reason was ostentibly that the second blogmate has "won" a contest being held by the first. Well, that is simply impossible. Those cookies are MINE, MINE, MINE!!!

I was sulking and plotting when this appeared outside my door.



Okay, creepy, but no reason to panic. I am used to seeing clowns in unexpected places. I picked off the weird candy eyes, wiped that smug frosting smile off his face and then I ate him.

But, then I went into my office and there they were:



The Cheerio hair, the wormy smiles . . . ::shudder::

It took an entire pot of tea to get this batch down. Luckily, the baker knew how to keep the cake light and fluffy. That immediately made me suspicious. However, the truly talented baker I have in mind would never use sour gummy worms on buttercream frosting. So, my suspicions went elsewhere.

Then the threat came through loud and clear!



A plate of dead clown cupcakes sitting on top of my washer. With fruit roll-ups masquerading as bacon for the vapid smiles. Luckily, I was able to fake out my dogs and they believed the bacon story.

As I type, I am showing those cupcakes who is boss. But, funny, I'm not hungry for cookies any more . . .

The End of Days . . .

Is upon us. 700 grinning freaks assembled at the clown convention in Mexico City to try and break the record for laughing . . .



Check out the hellish freak waving around the broken baby doll at the :20 mark. 700 cretinous creeps in one place, forcing awkward laughter. I'm surprised they didn't accidentally cause a tear between dimensions!

Budget Cuts . . .

Have led to a serious downgrade of the Federal Secret Witness Program . . .



Seriously, you would have to be a Bozo to think this was a good idea. I can't decide who is creepier, the adults or the little Bozo-spawn.

There is a Special Circle of Hell . . .

Devoted to Bozo the Clown. This week, we'll be paying tribute to one of the ringleaders of the International Clown Cabal.



Bozo is bad enough, but a disembodied leering Bozo head floating over a pair of gloved hands? The stuff of nightmares.

Some Things Are Best . . .

Left to professionals . . .



If you hear from one, please let me know!

I think this is actually a subtle blackmail scheme. Pay them $5.88 or you could end up like the clown . . .

Friends Shouldn't Let Friends . . .

Bake decapitated dead clown cakes . . . .



You see? I told you yesterday that you should have opted for the kit!! However, this baker does win the Academy Award for making the best of a bad situation with sprinkles.

::Looks closer at cake::

Please tell me those are sprinkles . . .

In Honor Of My Husband's Birthday . . .

I thought I'd share a few decapitated dead clown cakes. This is a particular favorite because it gives you instructions!! No more thrashing around making ugly cakes on your own (you'll see tomorrow why that's a bad idea).



So, Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!

Yes, I do love my husband . . . why do you ask?

Oops! To The Cornfield With You!

It's your own fault! I like to see happy faces!



Is everybody happy? I don't like angry faces? No siree . . . don't make me angry . . .

Not Sure Which Bothers Me More . . .

This clown doll or the person who thought making it was a good idea . . .



Another in the series of clown faces you don't want in your closet. Not even Pennywise wants this freak hanging around.

Hush Now . . .

Or I'll have to get the duct tape . . .



Are you comfy? Are the ropes too tight?

Just A Living Doll . . .

Okay, so it only comes alive after all the lights are out . . . when you leave the closet door open just a crack . . .



C'mon, who wouldn't love this face . . . hovering over you when you wake up in the middle of the night . . .

Gangsta Klown . . .

Gonna @#$% you up . . .



Whatchyou laughing at mutha#$%^#$? I got your [fill in noun] here . . .

Children Of The Clowns

Glen and Mary looked around and realized there were no adults in this circus . . .



Somewhere in the darkness a gurgle was followed by a high childish giggle . . .

Ewww . . . Just Ewww . . .

As I was working on captions for this photo, one thought wouldn't leave my mind,



Just what is he looking down at . . .

If you find out, don't let me know ::shudder::

The Eyes Seem To Follow You . . .

Everywhere . . . you go . . .



This is the sort of face you see in the rear view mirror in a dark parking lot when you forgot to check the back seat before you got in the car.

Klownz In The Hood . . .

They be representing . . .



The police were baffled by the series of bodies found with a frozen look of horror and white greasepaint on their throats.

The Morning After . . .

Evidently Bozo and Clara Belle didn't "just say no . . ."



My guess Clara Belle is calling his bail bondsman or his bookie. I doubt he is calling his sponsor.

Did You Ever Wonder Why . . .

So many of us are so screwed up?



It's because Dad said, "Go pet the duck in the clown's lap! Take your sister! Both of you now! I'll get a picture. Get closer dang it, you're in the shadow!"

Uh-huh . . . .

Well, here is that kid all grown up!

I'm Baaaaccckkk . . . .

Sorry for the long absence!

It started innocently enough. A guest asked a question about aliens and Roswell (yes, there is fascinating dinner conversation at my house). Suddenly, the screen flashed and a rogue program was off and running taking a good chunk of my hard drive with it.

I blame the ICC (International Clown Cabal) . . .



Me and my anti-viral programs fought valiantly, capturing and removing 25 different Trojan Horse viruses. However, the damage was done. I couldn't even get on the Interwebz for almost a week (the horror!). Finally, a complete crash and reinstall was necessary. However, thanks to my handy external hard drive, I hacked in and saved all my docs and pics.

So, I will be able to continue exposing the ICC conspiracy and bringing the best from the CCC (Creepy Clown Continum)!