Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Bonus points if you get this connection. Think "Michael" from "A Boy and His Dog."
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Now, I believe in the heaven-given right to wear idiotic sweaters at Christmas, but there is a limit of how much punishment I can take!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
What is it with clown paintings?
Monday, April 26, 2010
::Mom can't figure out why none of the kids want candy::
Remember! Just say no to Murano clowns! Today your curio cabinet, tomorrow your liquor cabinet . . .
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Basic rule, the bigger the eyelashes, the creepier and more sinister the clown. Well, this one looks like he has Unka Pennywise's spiders crawling out of his eyes. I think that classifies as creepy enough. The fire and brimstone color backdrop adds a nice touch in the photo, don't ya think?
Remember kids, don't take balloons from strangers!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
"Practice desensitization, a gradual process that involves allowing yourself to be exposed to clowns a little at a time. Make a list of your fears, from safest to scariest, and begin exposing yourself to the safest. For example, try just thinking about a clown for a few seconds, and when that gets easier, gradually work up to the next thing on your list. Take your time, and if something is too frightening, back up a bit." (read the whole thing, here is the credit, I didn't make it up)
Okay, are you ready . . . we're going to take it slow . . .
Leering clowns with their pants down apparently humping outhouses. All disguised as salt and pepper shakers. Not scared? Congrats! You are cured! Creeped out? Good! You are normal!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Today's is really too easy. A grinning leering creepy clown holding open his full-length trenchcoat showing a bottomless vortex of weird that culminates just below the waist. If I need to explain any more, then you don't get it. Pardon me, I have to do this, EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Always remember and never forget, "Just say NO to Murano Clowns. Today your curio cabinet, tomorrow your liquor cabinet."
Sunday, April 18, 2010
"Hey, what's going on? I hear screaming."
"Not sure. I put on my clown mask and brought the cake into the kid's party."
Uh-huh, yet another way your parent's scarred you for life! (with, as always, slavering thanks to Cake Wrecks)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Yes, a perfect gift from a loving, but unsuspecting grandparent. As long as you fed it, it didn't eat you. To keep feeding it, you had to keep doing chores. Everyone thought you were the perfect child, who loved clowns, so they kept getting them for you at Christmas time. The madness never stopped, until you cracked, thus supporting the legal justice system and the mental health industry.
Clowns . . . the engine of the economy. Break the chain. Stop the madness!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
So, it is with humility that I present to you one of the places where two paths of cringe-worthy creepiness intersect to form something that is even worse than the sum of its parts. Yes, I am talking about the WTF confection better known as the "Dead Clown Cake." To-wit: (I say things like to-wit because I'm a lawyer in my spare time)
The recipe did say that it serves 20. As if you'll have 20 friends left after you lay this out (in state) on the buffet table. For the best of the worst of clown cakes (as if there could be a good one), check out Cake Wrecks right here. Remember, be ever vigilant, even dead, clowns are sneaky!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Check out this pattern below. While the clown sweater on this adorable little English boy is bad enough, it is the backdrop that elevates it into true creepiness. Who would wallpaper their child's room with motifs of dead frowning clowns????????? I think this little guy is smiling only because the lights are on. What mom and dad don't know is that the dead x-ed out eyes glow after dark.
Ah yes, yet one more way your parents scar you for life!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Today's proof positive (as if you needed more proof) that Murano Venetian glass clowns are just a waste of melted sand . . .
Another translucent brained zombie clown freak. I guess if you woke up to this every Monday, you wouldn't have any problem leaving to go to work. Obviously, another fiendish clown plan to get you out of the house.
Remember, if you are ever tempted by a Murano clown: Today your curio cabinet, tomorrow your liquor cabinet.
Have a great week!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
This is the first in a series of whacked out creepy clown cookie jars. I think, in this case, the International Clown Cabal teamed up with the American Dental Association to come up with a way to cut down on sweets while injecting some ooge-factor into our homes.
Notice how this monstrousity only has lollipops for a "good" child? Define good . . . I think in this case, good equates with yummy! At its best, its an obnoxiously moralizing piece of hideous crockery. At its worst . . . shudder . . .
Saturday, April 10, 2010
It's still a creepy clown statue. And a questionable carnival prize.
Knock over three milk bottles and you get to take this freak home. Knock over five milk bottles and you don't have to!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Some glassblower thought it would be a good idea to create a zombie clown with a transparent head so you could see his BRAAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSS . . . or does he have to sneeze really, really bad and can't through that misplaced and misshapen blob of glass that passes for his nose? I'll never know because this freak isn't allowed anywhere near my collection. Would you turn your back on this?
Murano clowns, just say NO! Today your curio cabinet, tomorrow your liquor cabinet.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Well, I finally uncovered a prize egg in a game so evil that it could have been perpetrated by the International Clown Cabal.
It is good to have my life back. The Coffee Cup Software Egg Hunt, is now coming up on a week of ruining productivity on a worldwide scale.
Why? Because their software rocks! I will be using my 'E-Commerce' egg to rebuild our family business website from top to bottom. Also, the gang at Coffee Cup is usually not so devious and clown-like. The support and enthusiasm is top rate.
The ever elusive $1000 golden prize egg is still hidden in the deep and dark dungeons of their website. Check it out, if you dare. However, when you come stumbling back bleary-eyed and suffering from carpal tunnel, don't say I didn't warn you!
However, as my life slowly returns to abnormal, my nearly daily offering of creepy and unsettling clown art will get back on track. Today, I offer you this latest piece of evidence:
Case closed . . .
PS: A lot of work went into this, to create a face that only the proud mother of a clown could love. I bet whichever kid inherited this or got it for Christmas or as a wedding gift wondered what they had done to make Mom so mad at them.